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DDNikki / An Attempted Autobiography
Last update/major rewrite: January 10 2025
TL;DR: I don't exist. I hate myself. I do too much, I know too much.For example, I know like 15 people named Cassandra. (And like three Picos...) ...If you only know her because of me, I'm so sorry. ★ Nikki? Nikki was created for Dream Diary, a horrible Roblox game I made when I was 12. They are a Yumerri, a mythical Pokemon from a dream I had, pictured below Nikki. (I think it was subconscious, I forgot about Yumerri at the time I made them.) The dream was really weird anyway. Basically a mad professor tried to kill me and I was taken into a warzone, but I pointed his hand towards his eye and he shot himself. ...As a result, they're my persona now. It's been like this since 2022. 
★ I'm too young for this crapAs of writing, I'm still 15. As of posting, I'm like 16. I'm technically still too young to see M-rated things... but I can handle it. Most of the things I make are T-M rated, I guess. I've known really violent and dark series at a very young age. I was mostly unfazed. I was like... fascinated with it. Like, I wasn't scared of horror I was that curious. ★ Everything about me triggers an identity crisis The only thing I'm sure of is that I'm disinterested, and I don't really feel like I exist. I have no identity or pronouns whatsoever. Like, I don't use any pronouns, I just have none. If I had to (like when I was writing Nikki's description), they/it. Even when I'm called by a name, I have the instinct to correct it. ...Maybe I just don't like being talked about in general. ★ Interests and hobbies I'm basically interested in anything that's cute, dark, or unusual. ...So basically disguised horror stories. Noted: Happy Tree Friends, Pico's School, DDLC. Also, stuff from the 90s, 2000s, and early 2010s. Flash games and toys from those times especially. I like rhythm, sandbox and roleplay games. (I only play the last kind to watch the chaos.) I don't care about music genre, I just have to hear it from a game or it has to have a Vocaloid in it. I guess I have a hobby of browsing random websites. Mostly wikis. About characters, I like jesters, devils, murderers, and rabbits, or anything similar to those... Considering all of these, I guess it's obvious how I got obsessed with Cassandra. ...When I was a kid and I just learned about DDLC, my favorite on first sight was Monika. Even after learning the truth, I think that just made me like her more. I have no fucking idea. ★ Chaos, chaos! If you've known me in the past, you may know me as Jevil. (Wow!) I guess you can still call me that, but just know; I can do anything... I'm just really bad at everything. I was a solo game developer, so I basically do everything needed. Animating, building, coding, art assets, writing... and attempts at making 3D meshes. About coding, I guess I know HTML, Scratch, and Luau. (I wish I could use Godot and Stencyl.) About art, I copy artstyles for a living. (But at least it isn't malicious.) Even for the styles I've developed on my own... most of my drawings look wildly different from each other. I also make MIDI recreations of songs. I haven't really composed for real. I've made plushies a bunch by hand, I've kinda used a sewing machine, I've made weird keychains and other merch, and I make needle-felted wigs for cosplays. (All of the IRL images of me are wearing a costume. All of them.) ★ Mental Darkness I think I ruined my mental health by being a horrible method actor... I used to work as a developer for a roleplay game when I was 12. Somehow, it genuinely got in my head that everyone secretly hated me because of my actions. Ever since that incident, my persona had stuck, and now it feels like it's too late for me to change. And then at some point I changed my username, and now it's solidified. This was my fault. (I still can't believe Kasantola wasn't taken. Maybe because I'm something nobody would ever think an individual would ever be all at once.) I have a fear of popularity as a result of the incident, too. I don't like bothering people in the event that they would probably harass or dox me. I used to torment random players in that game. I think they were younger than me, too. ...which is saying something, considering I was 12. I also went through a god complex. I don't know why I keep being seen as a god. I was just a developer. ...If I die, don't remember me. "Future generations may thank you (or not, if you're an edgelord, but let the netziens of the future decide)" (sic)
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